I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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