Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
