I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
