Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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