please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
you will always have a special place in my vag
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
