Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
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