I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
