So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
