There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
