I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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