did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
