guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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