Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
