I want to make a zoo with you.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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