is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I looked at my own cervix.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
