You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
