Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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