just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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