well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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