Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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