How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
