did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
