My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
