Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
