did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It's shark week go big or go home
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
