i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
