i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
