Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
