Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
