shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
