She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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