These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
