I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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