it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I didn't notice because vodka
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
