And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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