i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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