you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize