Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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