This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
