So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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