You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
