apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
