The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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