my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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