"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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