Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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