she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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