??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize