I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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