I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
