You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Why is your signature on my underwear?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
