so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
