go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
