So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
