A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize