She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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