I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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