We're facebook friends in real life
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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