you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
