that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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