the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
So vagazzling was a success
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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