I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
