you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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