I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
