Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
foreskin is a definite game changer
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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