It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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