if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
