yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
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